


Mods Are Asleep, Post Cringe

by StarSpangledDummy



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: And thats very sexy of me, Blease give me memes from other countries, Gen, Group chat, Im showing off my Denmark and South Korea favoritism, Multi, Sibling content? Sibling content, Sprinkle in some zesty bromance here and there, angst on my faves here and there, i have no clue what i'm doing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:02:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24860515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarSpangledDummy/pseuds/StarSpangledDummy
Summary: Germany has created the group chat United NationsGermany has added Australia, Austria, Belarus, Belgium, and 188 others to United NationsGermany: Everyone, this chat was created for purely work-related reasons, I expect no goofing off or funny business of any kind.Northern Italy: Yes sir!Japan: Of courseUnited States: Lol boringGermany: I already feel a migraine coming on
Relationships: America/Russia (Hetalia), Belarus/South Korea (Hetalia), Belgium/Hungary (Hetalia), Canada/Prussia (Hetalia), Czech Republic & Denmark (Hetalia), England/France (Hetalia), Germany/North Italy (Hetalia), Greece/Japan (Hetalia), Hong Kong/Iceland (Hetalia)
Comments: 23
Kudos: 147
Collections: why im sleep deprived 💖✨





	1. Mods Are Asleep.. Or Are They?

**Author's Note:**

> What's this?? Me writing something not Sanders Sides related?? Oh well. There's like no plot to this, just a bunch of immortal beings fucking around with each other

**Germany has created the group chat United Nations**

**Germany has added Australia, Austria, Belarus, Belgium, and 188 others to United Nations**

Germany: Everyone, this chat was created for purely work-related reasons, I expect no goofing off or funny business of any kind.

Northern Italy: Yes sir!

Japan: Of course

United States: Lol boring

Germany: I already feel a migraine coming on

United Kingdom: This was a brilliant idea Germany, but I don't think anyone expects you to moderate this chat by yourself

Germany: I have already designated a list of countries that have been given moderator privileges. They know who they are

South Korea: Booooooooring. @United States we still on man?

United States: Ya getting on the switch now

***South Korea has left the chat***

***United States has left the chat***

China: What are they doing??

Canada: Co-opping animal crossing

China: Oh

United Kingdom: Well, I'm going to go. Work to do, brothers to scream at

***United Kingdom has left the chat***

China: I'm going to leave too

***China has left the chat***

Northern Italy: Mio fratello is coming over!! I have to get ready!

***Northern Italy has left the chat***

Germany: I guess it's just you and me

Japan: And the others who have yet to show themselves

_1:38 am, GMT + 9_

_2:38 pm, GMT -5_

***South Korea has entered the chat***

***United States has entered the chat***

South Korea: Mods are asleep. You know what that means

United States: Fuck yeah I do

Japan: I can assure you, the mods are most certainly not asleep

South Korea: No

Japan: Yes

South Korea: It can't be

Japan: It can. You seem to forget we have Mods all over the world

South Korea: Why aren't you asleep

Japan: Why aren't you?

South Korea: .

Japan: .

United States: .

Japan: You two have fifteen minutes before Germany notices your suspicious activity

United States: FUCK yes! Thanks Kiks!

Japan: Do not call me that

South Korea: Ew

Japan: Remember. Fifteen minutes

United States: We only need five

***Japan has left the chat***

_8:42 am, GMT + 8_

Old Man: Who changed the names?!

THE Burger King: LMAOOOOO nice one!

BOOBS Man: Thank you, thank you

EatMySausage: What did you two do

***THE Burger King has left the chat***

***BOOBS Man has left the chat***

Who Is This: Can I change my name, mister Germany?


	2. You Think You're In Charge Here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EatMySausage: Someone bring those two back!  
> I Burnt Cereal: At least they used proper grammar on mine  
> Old Man: At least yours makes sense. I am not old  
> Who Is This: Guys please can I change my name  
> King Kong: urs makes sense too, ur old  
> Old Man: Betrayed. By my own Flesh and Blood. You are grounded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is a bit longer than last chapter. Meh. If I update frequently it wont matter

_8:44 am, GMT + 8_

EatMySausage: Someone bring those two back! 

I Burnt Cereal: At least they used proper grammar on my name

Old Man: At least yours makes sense. I am not old

Who Is This: Guys please can I change my name

King Kong: urs makes sense too, ur old

Old Man: Betrayed. By my own Flesh and Blood. You are grounded

King Kong: Incredibly rude. Blocked and reported

Ice Ice Baby: Kick his ass bb

King Kong: <3

Ice Ice Baby: <3

EatMySausage: I wasn't joking. Get those two back in here they need to face punishment

OG Lego City: As if those kids could come up with these kickass names on their own

EatMySausage: So.. my own neighbor. I will not stand for this

OG Lego City: What? You gonna invade me again?

Ice Ice Baby: .

Torbjorn Main: .

Hell-sinki: .

Norge: I don't care. My name is fine

OG Lego City: Ja you scare me, duh

Norge: Hm.. Interesting

Ice Ice Baby: Berwald and Tino don't scare you?

OG Lego City: Oh they do. But like, not as much as Nor. He's got magic

Ice Ice Baby: Fair

Old Man: Can we talk about how Iceland called Hong Kong "bb"?

King Kong: No

Ice Ice Baby: No

Norge: We can

King Kong: Shan't

**King Kong has silenced the chat until 11:00 am GMT + 8**

_11:00 am GMT + 8_

EatMySausage: How the fuck

King Kong: You truly think you are still in charge of this chat

EatMySausage: What

King Kong: Pathetic

BOOBSman: You should have known better. You so foolishly placed trust in us, and left us to do our bidding. 

EatMySausage: South Korea, you aren't a mod, and Hong Kong, you are not a country. Neither of you should have any power here

BOOBSman: Then you underestimate us

I'm Not Saying Election For You: You cannot stop them, Mister Germany

THE Burger King: Wha- you changed our name for you!

I'm Not Saying Election For You: I cannot stop you, or my brothers. But I can protect myself against you heathens

BOOBSman: We beat everyone but him! Internet high five!

King Kong: Sure

EatMySausage: Can we at least have a sound off so we know who is who

BOOBSman: Yeah sure. Fine. South Korea 🙄

Old Man: China

I Burnt Cereal: England

King Kong: Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China. Hong Kong SAR, or just Hong Kong

Old Man: Why

King Kong: You said that full names were respectful

Old Man:.. I did say that

King Kong: Boom

Ice Ice Baby: Iceland

OG Lego City: Denmark here!

Torbjorn Main: .. Sweden

Hell-sinki: Finland!

Norge: My name hasn't changed at all. You know who I am

EatMySausage: Right.. I do. 

Who Is This: Please let me change my name!! I'm Canada!

THE Burger King: Sorry Mattie, don't think that's happening

Who Is This: ｡：ﾟ(｡ﾉω＼｡)ﾟ･｡

THE Burger King: Sowwy 

I Burnt Cereal: Never say that again

THE Burger King: OwO? 

EatMySausage: I can guess who you are

THE Burger King: UwU United States of Amewica

Ice Ice Baby: Disgusting

BOOBSman: Unfriended. Blocked

THE Burger King: Noooo! Yong Soo!! Don't leave me!

BOOBSman: Good bye

THE Burger King: ｡･ﾟﾟ･(>д<)･ﾟﾟ･｡

EatMySausage:... Ignoring that shit show; Is that everyone?

OG Lego City: Nope~! We gave EVERYONE nicknames! 

King Kong: They just haven't shown up yet

EatMySausage: Great.. My migraine from yesterday is back

( ^ J ^ ): I can help with that~

**EatMySausage has left the chat**

**King Kong has left the chat**

OG Lego City: See you Saturday, Ivan!

**OG Lego City has left the chat**

Hell-sinki: He will NOT see you Saturday, Braginsky

**Hell-sinki has left the chat**

**Torbjorn Main has left the chat**

**Norge has left the chat**

**Ice Ice Baby has left the chat**

**I Burnt Cereal has left the chat**

**BOOBSman has left the chat**

**Old Man has left the chat**

**I'm Not Saying Election For You has left the chat**

THE Burger King: Braginsky

( ^ J ^ ): Jones

**THE Burger King has left the chat**

Who Is This: So.. Is it just me now?

( ^ J ^ ): You and me, Matthew~

**Who Is This has left the chat**

( ^ J ^ ): Oh..

Marry Me: You still have me, big brother~

( ^ J ^ ): Oh!

**( ^ J ^ ) has left the chat**

**BOOBSman has entered the chat**

BOOBSman: Ouch

Marry Me: Shut the fuck up

BOOBSman: *^*

Marry Me: Don't try that shit with me

BOOBSman: ｡：ﾟ(｡ﾉω＼｡)ﾟ･｡

Marry Me: I'll see you Thursday. Pussy

BOOBSman: So mean!! ｡･ﾟﾟ･(>д<)･ﾟﾟ･｡


	3. Why Is This Your Common Interest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Old Man: It's been unusually quiet today... what are you up to @King Kong @BOOBSman ?  
> King Kong: Yong Soo's muted us 4 the day idk why  
> I Burnt Cereal: Why can't you type properly  
> Old Man: Yong Soo muted us? For real? This is a bad omen  
> THE Burger King: Or, just maybe, he's chillin with Belarus like he said he'd be? Just a thought :P  
> I Burnt Cereal: Oh my God  
> I Burnt Cereal: He /does/ have braincells

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah idk my time zones man they confusing as hell

_1:52 pm, GMT + 8_

_2:52 am, GMT - 5_

Old Man: It's been unusually quiet today... what are you up to @King Kong @BOOBSman ?

King Kong: Yong Soo's muted us 4 the day idk why

I Burnt Cereal: Why can't you type properly

Old Man: Yong Soo muted us? For real? This is a bad omen

THE Burger King: Or, just maybe, he's chillin with Belarus like he said he'd be? Just a thought :P

I Burnt Cereal: Oh my God

I Burnt Cereal: He /does/ have brain cells

I Burnt Cereal: Actually. Why the hell are you awake? It's like 3 at your place Alfred

THE Burger King: Doesn't matter, does it?

I Burnt Cereal: Alfred Jones

THE Burger King: Buzz off man you aren't my mom

I Burnt Cereal: Alfred Francis Jones

THE Burger King: Sorry mum

King Kong: Lol "mum"

I Burnt Cereal: Siu Chun

King Kong: Sorry mum

I Burnt Cereal: Good. Alfred, go to bed

THE Burger King: No

Gay Frog: Good job, Alfred! Stick it to that nasty Englishman!

I Burnt Cereal: askfasfhas FRANCIS??

THE Burger King: Thanks French dude!

Gay Frog: Oui, c'est moi! 

I Burnt Cereal: Right. /I'm/ going to bed now

Gay Frog: Arthur!! Non!!

**I Burnt Cereal has left the chat**

Gay Frog: Arthur ;-;

THE Burger King: Tough break

Old Man: Can we go back to "Yong Soo is hanging out with Belarus"??

THE Burger King: Damn bro he said he'd be with her today what's the big deal

Old Man: It's Belarus! What are they even doing!?

THE Burger King: Fuck man idk he won't respond to my texts

I'm Not Saying Election For You: Huh. He's ignoring even you

Old Man: Bad omen!!!

_2:38 am, GMT + 8_

_3:38 pm, GMT - 5_

BOOBSman: sadjahfuiahsd LOOK AT WHAT NAT BOUGHT ME [prettyknife.jpeg](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/e3/1c/ce/e31ccefecdfaa75bbfc2c8f8fcb418d7.jpg)

Old Man: She got you a KNIFE?????

BOOBSman: YEAH IT'S SO PRETTY 😍😍😍

Old Man: Let me repeat. A KNIFE????

Marry Me: He got me these [throwingknives.jpeg](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/d6/68/96/d6689653cd2b2d877809875f671402bc.jpg)

Old Man: MORE KNIVES

Marry Me: They're cool

BOOBSman: Hell yeah they are! I love it Nat!

Marry Me: You're welcome

Old Man: IM YONG SOO

BOOBSman: O shit

Old Man: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME IT IS

BOOBSman: Uh.. about 2:40?

Old Man: YEAH. IN THE MORNING. I STAYED UP ALL NIGHT WORRYING ABOUT YOU AND YOU COME BACK AT /2 IN THE MORNING/ TALKING ABOUT /KNIVES/!!!

BOOBSman: You were worried?

Old Man: OF COURSE- I DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING FROM YOU ALL DAY! 笨蛋! 

BOOBSman: Oh ow. He called me stupid

Marry Me: You kind of are

BOOBSman: I mean, yeah. But still. Ow

Old Man: WHERE ARE YOU

BOOBSman: Minsk

Old Man: When you get home I'm killing you myself

BOOBSman: You gonna drive thru North Korea?

Old Man: Yes. 

BOOBSman: *bisexual fear*

Marry Me: Good luck to you

BOOBSman: Shut

Marry Me: I can kick you out

BOOBSman: No!! I'm sorry! 미안합니다!!

Marry Me: I don't speak kimchi

BOOBSman: Blocked 

Old Man: I'm still here

Marry Me: We know but you aren't in this conversation

BOOBSman: O_O

Marry Me: I will cut that curl right off your head

BOOBSman: ᴺᵒ ᶦᵐ ˢᵒʳʳʸ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵈᵒⁿᵗ

THE Burger King: Bro take this to the DMs this is awkward

OG Lego City: Thank GOD someone said it!

Who Is This: Yeah I'm with Al for this one

BOOBSman: ˢᵒʳʳʸ

King Kong: Here. I'll do us all a favor

**King Kong has silenced the chat until 7:00 am GMT + 8, 8:00 pm GMT -5**


	4. Lego Matryoshka, Look It Up Sweaty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ( ^ J ^ ): It is Saturday~  
> OG Lego City: It is!  
> ( ^ J ^ ): You know what that means~  
> OG Lego City: I do!  
> Hell-sinki: What does it mean  
> Hell-sinki: What the fuck does it mean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a while to pump out, haha. Sorry, but on the bright side I finished my first college course before Sophomore year so, yay? I guess I have marching band and jazz band back-to-back in school tho so that'll be painful

_9:41 pm, GMT + 8_

_5:41 am, GMT + 3_

_4:41 am, GMT + 2_

( ^ J ^ ): It is Saturday~

OG Lego City: It is!

( ^ J ^ ): You know what that means~

OG Lego City: I do!

Hell-sinki: What does it mean

Hell-sinki: What the fuck does it mean

OG Lego City: It's time to hang out?? Lol

OG Lego City: Wait a minute- why are you awake Finny?

Hell-sinki: To make sure you don't do anything stupid. Why are /you/ awake

OG Lego City: I'm going to Vanya's!!

Hell-sinki: No tf you're not!

OG Lego City: Why not?? I'm a grown man, I can choose who I wanna hang out with

Torbjorn Main: Yes, but no. You're not hanging out Russia

OG Lego City: Not you too Sve!! 

Scottish Twitter: Will all yae KINDLY shut yer traps??

OG Lego City: OH JESUS-

Scottish Twitter: It's 3 in tha mornin! Am tryna sleep!

Hell-sinki: You aren't even part of the United Nations?

Scottish Twitter: Trust me. Am well aware

Torbjorn Main: Who let you on here?

Scottish Twitter: @Lucky Charm did. Said they got lonely

OG Lego City: Lucky Charm...?

Scottish Twitter: .

Scottish Twitter: Ma siblin'?

OG Lego City: Doesn't clear up a thing

Scottish Twitter: Ireland??????

**OG Lego City has left the chat**

( ^ J ^ ): He quakes at even the mention of them... how cute!

Hell-sinki: Do not call Denmark /cute/

( ^ J ^ ): But he is!

Hell-sinki: You're not allowed to think he's cute. Move along

( ^ J ^ ): Very well, he is already at my house~

**( ^ J ^ ) has left the chat**

Hell-sinki: Eh!?!? No! He can't be!

NOT LIKE BORAT: Listen, no offense but Denmark raised you all. I think he can handle himself

Torbjorn Main: No he can't

Scottish Twitter: Lemme take a quick stab'a this... Kyrgyzstan? 

NOT LIKE BORAT: Kazakhstan.

Scottish Twitter: Ah. A was close

NOT LIKE BORAT:... Yeah actually

NOT LIKE BORAT: Anyways, what are you all afraid might happen? He might make a friend outside the family, America, and Prussia?

Hell-sinki: Russia's dangerous! And crazy!

NOT LIKE BORAT: Yeah, so was Den. He can handle himself

Hell-sinki: What do you know? You aren't even in Europe

NOT LIKE BORAT: Valid point. I'm just saying, let him breathe for a bit

Hell-sinki: Whatever

NOT LIKE BORAT: I've got work to do. See you all at the next summit

**NOT LIKE BORAT has left the chat**

Hell-sinki:... I guess I'll just have to sleep. Good night

**Hell-sinki has left the chat**

Torbjorn Main: Night 

**Torbjorn Main has left the chat**

Scottish Twitter: Hey, I cannae sleep now! Nae fair! Yae cannae leave me here!

_8:41 am, GMT + 8_

_4:41 pm, GMT + 3_

_3:41 pm, GMT + 2_

I Burnt Cereal: @Scottish Twitter, why tf are you here now

Scottish Twitter: Am keepin our siblin alive in this 'ere shite hole, unlike yerself

I Burnt Cereal: They haven't even shown themselves yet, how are they supposed to be suffering?

Lucky Charm: Well now that's a bit like saying I didn't suffer during the famine because you didn't have to send me aid, isn't it?

I Burnt Cereal: That's different.

THE Burger King: That's like saying I wasn't having a civil war when you refused to pick a side

I Burnt Cereal: That's different!

Lucky Charm: Problems don't go away because you ignore them, Artie

I Burnt Cereal: I know. You're still here.

Scottish Twitter: So very rude, a wonder what mum would tink if she saw ye now

Scottish Twitter: Oh wait

**I Burnt Cereal has left the chat**

Lucky Charm: Cold blooded that was, ya better apologize

Scottish Twitter: A will, later

Lucky Charm: Alright

Gay Frog: Is it bully Arthur hours~?

THE Burger King: Always~

Gay Frog: Splendid~!

Lucky Charm: No, it is NOT bully Arthur hours. Scotland has made sure of that

Scottish Twitter: A said a was gonna 'pologize

Gay Frog: What did he say?

Gay Frog: Oh

THE Burger King: Yo Ireland, d00d, y do you care? Like, no offense but I thought you hated Arthur

Lucky Charm: He annoys me. I hate him as much as you do

THE Burger King: Whoaaa dude I don't hate him!

Lucky Charm: Exactly

Norge: Why exactly is England upset?

Scottish Twitter: Family bizz

Lucky Charm: Bizz?

Norge: Understandable have a good day

Ice Ice Baby: Yo where Den at?

Scottish Twitter: Russia

Ice Ice Baby: Didn't think they were friends

Norge: They were

Hell-sinki: Since when??

Norge: Childhood

Hell-sinki: No????????

Torbjorn Main: Ja

Hell-sinki: I don't remember that

Norge: :/ dunno what to say

Ice Ice Baby: When's he comin back? He's supposed to give me back my baking pans

THE Burger King: Ivan likes all day visits, so probably tomorrow

Scottish Twitter: Ivan?

Lucky Charm: Ivan?

THE Burger King: **Russia. God y'all act like i committed a sin or smthn

Gay Frog: You are the first to call him by his name, Amerique~

THE Burger King: And that's suddenly illegal???

Gay Frog: One would think /you/ of all people would refer to Russie as anything but his name

THE Burger King: Oh yeah? Well, stuff it

Ice Ice Baby: You looking mad sus over there 

THE Burger King: The little volcano is challenging me??

Norge: Nah you're looking pretty sus

Scottish Twitter: Sus?

Hell-sinki: So we wont hear from Denmark. Until tomorrow

THE Burger King: Ya. Nor Ivan either but y'know. You didn't ask about him so

THE Burger King: ** Russia

BOOBS Man: You looking mad sus there Al. Got something you wanna say?

THE Burger King: That I should have left you for dead??

BOOBS Man: Shutting up now

King Kong: #DragHisAss

Old Man: Huh

King Kong: #YoureTooOldTeacher

Old Man: What

Torbjorn Main: Chat's pretty active today

Lucky Charm: We can make it more active

Scottish Twitter: What.. oh. Do it

Lucky Charm: Kk

**Lucky Charm has added Sheep Fucker and Lucky Charm 2 to United Nations**

EatMySausage: Who the hell gave Ireland moderator rights?!

Lucky Charm: Uh me?

Sheep Fucker: Change my name immediately

Lucky Charm: ~no~

Scottish Twitter: It suits ya

Sheep Fucker: At least Arthur loves me. Speaking of- where is he?

Lucky Charm: Oh he gone for at least two hours. Or until someone APOLOGIZES

Scottish Twitter: I'll get to it eventually!

Sheep Fucker: I wasn't kidding. Change my name now or there really will be only one Ireland. And it wont be you

Lucky Charm: Oh no~ so scary

THE Burger King: Ai hold up chief who here is fucking sheep?

Who Is This:... Wales???

Sheep Fucker: Mattie???

THE Burger King: Lmao Artie's gonna have a fuckin heart attack when he comes back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might've accidentally made Finland into a jerk?? Might just be me pushing my issues with my grandma onto him because they have the same general vibe, oh well

**Author's Note:**

> Ya this was pretty short. Didn't know what to do here other than, y'know, set the chat up


End file.
